Trust

Dylan with one of my most precious belongings, a musical Beatrix Potter figure.  This was one of the scariest moments for me.  He enjoyed it so much and often plays the song before bed each night.

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We are raising Dylan much differently than we did Jack, at least for the first three years.  This is in part because they are very different children, and also because we have drastically changed our parenting style in the last two years.

A big thing I encourage and try to build is trust.  I let the kids do all sorts of things to demonstrate that I trust them.  I let Jack make dinner (not entirely by himself of course).  We et the kids paint on my canvases with the "good" paints and paintbrushes, not fearing that they will trash them.  We let the kids have pens, pencils, chalk where ever they please as long as they don't color on things other than paper, fabric, and themselves.  This last one has been a bit tricky.  THere are certainly some spots on the wall where the "rules" have ben forgotten!

Another thing, which I think is most important is trusting my self with the kids.  Sometimes one of the boys will ask to brush my teeth (that makes sense considering that we brush their teeth.  Wrestling and trusting that the kids aren't going to hurt us is another trust builder, though i bit scary sometimes!

 Last night Dylan wanted to bite my nose ... no idea why, but he told me it was funny.  So I let him, reminding him to be gentle.  At first he just used his lips, but slowly with each bite he started to use his teeth.  I didn't stop him, or even remind him to be gentle.  I don't think constant reminders help anyone, especially kids!  Anyways, he got to a point where he was actually hurting me.  We had a little break from the game and talked about not hurting people, then I let him do it again.  This went on for quite some time and strange as it was, it was a great bonding experience.

Handing over ourselves to our children, even though we may be scared, is a great way to let you know that you trust them, even if it scares you a little!  The more control they have (in the right situations) the easier it will be for them when they can't have control.  Kids, it's all a delicate balance isn't it?